Saturday, April 28, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
ATI RATRAM SHOWS ITS MIRACLE
ATI RATRAM SHOWS ITS MIRACLE
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
POOJA WITH FIRE.....
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
TOP TEN SEXIEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD.....
DT Magazine -- a Spain-based publication -- just released their new February 2011 issue, in which they count down the top 50 hottest women in the entire world. Everyone knows this shit is arguable and preference based, but DT did it anyway, probably because men love women and shit. We are posting the chicks they picked as their Top 10 Sexiest Women in the World after the jump (in descending order) and also opening the floor for whatever heated discussion may arise. Go forth and see smokes.
8 Things Women Wish Men Knew About Sex
Women really do wish men could read their minds, as it would make their lives so much easier. If only you could always touch the right spot at the right time with the right pressure... impossible, right? Not entirely.
With a little bit of practice and some reading, you can probably pull it off not just once, not twice, but every time you try. Well, almost every time. Read on and learn how to avoid the little mistakes that all add up.
1- Get it wet
If you and your girl are getting hot and bothered, and you want to do anything to her vagina, just make sure that when you touch it, it is with something wet. Always.
Apply your (or even her) saliva to two fingers and gently slide them on the outside of the entrance to her vagina or spit into your hand and cover the end of your penis. Or both. Yes, she might be going crazy for you, but the wetness may not have reached the outside yet. Whatever you do, don't ever do it dry. Vaginas can be complex, multi-layered things!
Putting anything dry into a woman -- fingers, your penis, toys -- means she has to wriggle around to get her outside lips slippery. Even if this does only take 30 seconds, those 30 seconds of dry discomfort take her mind off how good everything else feels. It is a turn-on for her to feel "wet at first touch" and it can speed up the warm-up process.
2- Don't bypass her neck or ears
The feeling she gets when you kiss, nuzzle or lick her neck is likely 10 times as good as what you feel when she does the same to you. Her neck is one of the fastest ways to turn her on with the least effort. Be gentle with a moist tongue and soft lips, and you will have her moaning into your ear in no time. The front of her neck near her jugular is the most sensitive, but all over is good.
Ears are also a highly erogenous area, but there is a technique to giving good ear loving. Some light breathing, nibbling and tongue action are all interesting and evocative sensations, whereas talking, loud "mwaack" kisses and slobbery licks are all definite no-nos. The trick to this is alternation; don't keep doing the same thing all the time. Instead, go from mouth to neck to ear to neck to breast, and so on.
Find out if you should thank her for great sex, whether it truly doesn't bother her when you come too soon, and more...
3- Never Thank Her For Fellatio Or Sex
This makes her feel like a hooker, so unless she is a hooker (or )role playing!, refrain from thanking her. Show your appreciation in any other way you like, though, because she wants to know that she did a good job and you loved it. A thank you can come in many appropriate forms: "That was an excellent lick" or "You give the best head!" will suffice. If you really appreciated it, a foot massage and dinner would be nice... just kidding.
4- Don't Orgasm Too Soon
A woman does expect a man to be able to hold onto his orgasms long enough for her to get off. There is nothing more frustrating than premature ejaculation problems, and nothing has the potential to kill a relationship faster than lack of sexual satisfaction for either partner. If this is your problem, try to sort it out -- go to a clinic, see a specialist, consult a sex therapist -- whatever you do, don't let it go on too long. If you never got to have an orgasm, would you want to have sex?
Practice masturbating differently -- get yourself nearly there, and then stop. Repeat. Practice until you get it right. If this doesn't help and you suspect it is a medical problem, seek help.
5- Don't Take Too Long Either
Yes, yes I know, this is a sign that you're da man, right? A man who can keep going and going forever, taking his woman into the realms of ecstasy 10 times...
I have news for you: 10 is pushing it. One is normally enough, two is good, three is a bonus. By then, she's spent, just like you, after you ejaculate once.
Women don't dream of the man who can hold off orgasm all night long; they dream of the man who comes as she comes the first, second or third time. After that, it's like, "boooring, get off me!" She won't want to stop because obviously you're not done, but after all her fun is over and there isn't much hope for more, give it up already! If you are desensitized, give it a rest and come back for seconds later.
6- There Is More To Breasts Than Nipples
Most men think that the nipple is the best bit and aim straight for it. This is not necessarily true; the entire breast is an oft-neglected erogenous zone. While men are busy sucking, licking, stroking, and playing with the nipples (and unfortunately sometimes biting and twisting without prior permission), the rest is often forgotten.
Trimmed pubic hair is better
If you enjoy receiving oral sex, trim your pubic hair. Lots of women won't say anything, and if they say they don't care when asked, they are probably being truthful -- only because they don't know what they're missing! Do it anyway. Trim it to about half an inch, and if you're really brave, try shaving your testicles.
This feels great for you and much better for her mouth; it is generally 20 times more enjoyable for everyone. Pubic hair is a real deterrent for a girl trying her best to lick your balls, and it can send her straight onto your penis if it gets too hairy down there. Surely you won't mind this, but there is no point in hastening the experience now is there?
With the right approach she'll do almost anything
A woman generally likes to feel in control, so when you suggest something out of the ordinary, she may react with suspicion. Who have you been talking to? Have you been sleeping with someone else to get these ideas? A defensive reaction to new ideas is a bad start. If you often encounter resistance, try a different tactic.
Magazine articles are a good way to educate her about options, especially if they were written by a woman. Find articles that have ordinary women talking about how good it was to have anal sex or have sex in a weird place -- whatever you want to do -- and get her to read it. She's probably left Cosmo wide open on the "Sex Tips for Men" page a few times, hoping you would read it and learn a few things, so why shouldn't you do the same?
Women's sex forums are also a good source. They give her time to read and absorb information without your opinion on the matter. Suggest it delicately, and then try to make her believe it was her idea in the first place.
No woman wants to be the one who won't play ball. Although there are things she may always say no to (anal sex and fisting perhaps), just remember it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Find the right method and you might just push her sexual experimentation button.
in the end
If you read this and thought, "What? Guys still don't know all this stuff?" then congratulations; you've come a long way, boy. Good luck and happy romping!
Men's top sex secrets!
If you thought men's sexual response is quite simple and their needs can be met easily, then you certainly need to revise your knowledge of the "birds and bees," for men aren't as simple as they are made out to be.
According to Fox News, here are 10 things that you didn't know about men and sex:1. Trapped Sperm
Not all sperm go racing for the egg at once. Once sperm has been deposited into the vaginal canal, some of them are temporarily trapped in a semen coagulate or clot. Eventually, they are decoagulated by enzymes, which set them free to swim about a female''s reproductive system. This clotting, according to scientists, is meant to pace the release of sperm into the uterus, increasing the chance that one of these sperms will reach the egg and fertilise it.
2. Oxytocin affects males too
It is believed that oxytocin affects females during sex (and breast-feeding). But this cuddle hormone, released by both sexes during intimacy, is also found to influence males. Research from Switzerland found that oxytocin is associated with increased feelings of trust in males.
3. High testosterone = Less sex
While higher testosterone levels is typically considered a good thing for men when it comes to their sex drive, still researchers continually found that males with higher testosterone levels marry less often, are more abusive in their marriages and divorce more regularly. In fact, married men see more action than single men.
4. Death during sex has a prototype
While examining the incidence of death during sex, a 1975 study discovered a unique pattern in males: the "deceased is usually married; he is not with a spouse and in unfamiliar surroundings," and death usually occurs after "a big meal with alcohol." Another study in 1989 found further evidence supporting the extramarital sex bit. Fourteen of the 20 cases of "la mort d''amour," or coital death, happened during an affair.
5. Orgasm ... or lack of ... may prevent breast cancer in males
A study in Greece found evidence that the frequency of adult orgasms may have an impact on the incidence of breast cancer in men. In fact, it was also revealed that males with breast cancer had experienced fewer orgasms on average than men without the disease.
6. You can tell a guy's size by his fingers
A University of Liverpool research cited that if a man''s ring fingers are longer than his index fingers, this means there were healthy testosterone levels in the womb. If the ring fingers are the same size or smaller than the index fingers, then the male received lower levels of testosterone, implying that one can estimate the length of his organ by the length of the ring finger.
7. Men fall in love faster than women
It's not the women, but men, who get out of control after a glimpse of the right attractive face and fall head over heels in love immediately, claimed love researcher Dr. Helen Fisher.
8. Family affects testosterone
As a man becomes increasingly attached to his family, his testosterone level goes down, according to a 2001 Mayo Clinic study. Particularly, fathers experience a significant decline in levels of testosterone with the birth of his child, especially when he holds the baby
9. Can a bowel movement make for bliss?
In a 2002 study, it was mentioned that a male had a history of orgasmic-like feelings after going to the bathroom. After he answered nature's call, his body went through the rest of the male sexual response cycle. His pulse rate increased as he reached climactic state, followed by relaxation, then extreme fatigue.
10. Males like 'unusual' sex
Men have a 20 to 1 likeliness against women to practice an "unusual" and often socially unacceptable or illegal behavior, for example exhibitionism.
Can a sensual and soothing massage act as a precursor for great sex?
Is regular sex is good exercise?
What do men think of during sex?
Do you think sex is good for health, if yes, how?
Why do men think more about sex than women?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Five Secrets Couples Should Keep to Themselves
Five Secrets Couples Should Keep to Themselves : Nowadays it seems like couples reveal everything about their marriage and their relationship with their husband or wife. Back in the old days couples weren't as open with marital secrets as they are today. Let's take a look at five secrets couples really should keep to themselves
Their Sex Life-
This is probably the most important one of all to keep. What goes on between a man and a woman in the bedroom should between them and them alone. This is one of those things that should be sacred between a couple. Unfortunately nowadays it seems like couples are not only sharing their bedroom secrets with friends, on talk shoes, Internet sites; such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and yes even with their older children. Sometimes even the younger children will be within hearing distance when the couple is talking about it on the phone with a friend, or possibly even when the couple is arguing loudly about it. Sexual intimacy between a couple is something special and should be kept that way, not discussed in an open forum for all to hear. Once the secrets get out. it can cause all types of problems from feeling embarrassed, to feeling disappointed in a spouse that shared such intimate details with others. Yes, their are unfortunately couples that brag about their sex life to others, and it doesn't phase them a bit. However, it would have to make you wonder why they feel to need to do this. Sex between two people who love each other is not a competition with other couples. What it should be is something special and private between those two individuals.
Finances-
Why anyone has the need either to brag or burden others with their financial situation is beyond me. This is something that could definitely backfire in a negative way. After all, don't you wish you hadn't told your friend, who is now no longer your friend that you're getting paid under the table, and not paying taxes. You better hope this ex-friend doesn't have it in for you and reports you to the IRS. You see, some secrets are best left private. Now all you have to worry about is if you make your spouse mad enough to tell!
Your Children's Secrets-
This can be the worst betrayal of all. Once children feel they have the guts to spill a really private secret to their parents the last thing they need is hearing from their best friend because you confided in the best friend's parents, and they let it slip to their kids. Children's secrets, especially if it's something their ashamed of, it needs to be kept just that, a secret between the two parents. It should never go further than that. If it does you risk your children never trusting, or believing in you again. Keep a tight lip, and respect your children's secrets.
Serious Personal Problems-
If your spouse is having difficulties with a serious personal problem don't drag out the megaphone and announce it to the whole world. If you feel you are having difficulty handling what's going on with your spouse seek out professional counseling, then you know what is said is respected, and will go no further. The last thing someone needs who is struggling with a serious personal problem is to hear about it at the PTA meeting, the gym, work, or any other place that could cause serious embarrassment either to that person, or the family. Sometimes what goes on between a couple, should just be for that couple only.
Some Major Life Decisions-
Some major life designs need to be kept just between the couple until the time Is right to either let the kids know, or any other important person in their life. For instance, if you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. Don't be spreading it all over town with dozens of friends, chance are your kids will hear about it first from someone else instead of you. This can be quite devastating if the kids really had no idea what was going on. Contrary to popular belief, not all couples who get divorced are constantly screaming at each other or making it evident in some way that they will most likely not be staying married. Some couples just come to a very quiet decision that the marriage is no longer right for them and decide to get a divorce. In these types of homes, children may not have a clue anything is wrong. Make sure, anything major you decide on such as divorce, moving, changes of jobs that will change your lifestyle, elderly parents moving in with the family, or any other major decisions is kept between you and your spouse, so when the time comes, you will be telling the kids about it, and not someone else.
There you have it, five secrets that should be kept between you and your spouse. Some of these secrets should never be let out, and others it's just important to wait until the right time. In the end, you must be smart enough to know that which should be just between you and your spouse, either forever, or temporarily is just that, between the two of you and no one else!
Five Secrets Couples Should Keep to Themselves
Their Sex Life-
This is probably the most important one of all to keep. What goes on between a man and a woman in the bedroom should between them and them alone. This is one of those things that should be sacred between a couple. Unfortunately nowadays it seems like couples are not only sharing their bedroom secrets with friends, on talk shoes, Internet sites; such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and yes even with their older children. Sometimes even the younger children will be within hearing distance when the couple is talking about it on the phone with a friend, or possibly even when the couple is arguing loudly about it. Sexual intimacy between a couple is something special and should be kept that way, not discussed in an open forum for all to hear. Once the secrets get out. it can cause all types of problems from feeling embarrassed, to feeling disappointed in a spouse that shared such intimate details with others. Yes, their are unfortunately couples that brag about their sex life to others, and it doesn't phase them a bit. However, it would have to make you wonder why they feel to need to do this. Sex between two people who love each other is not a competition with other couples. What it should be is something special and private between those two individuals.
Finances-
Why anyone has the need either to brag or burden others with their financial situation is beyond me. This is something that could definitely backfire in a negative way. After all, don't you wish you hadn't told your friend, who is now no longer your friend that you're getting paid under the table, and not paying taxes. You better hope this ex-friend doesn't have it in for you and reports you to the IRS. You see, some secrets are best left private. Now all you have to worry about is if you make your spouse mad enough to tell!
Your Children's Secrets-
This can be the worst betrayal of all. Once children feel they have the guts to spill a really private secret to their parents the last thing they need is hearing from their best friend because you confided in the best friend's parents, and they let it slip to their kids. Children's secrets, especially if it's something their ashamed of, it needs to be kept just that, a secret between the two parents. It should never go further than that. If it does you risk your children never trusting, or believing in you again. Keep a tight lip, and respect your children's secrets.
Serious Personal Problems-
If your spouse is having difficulties with a serious personal problem don't drag out the megaphone and announce it to the whole world. If you feel you are having difficulty handling what's going on with your spouse seek out professional counseling, then you know what is said is respected, and will go no further. The last thing someone needs who is struggling with a serious personal problem is to hear about it at the PTA meeting, the gym, work, or any other place that could cause serious embarrassment either to that person, or the family. Sometimes what goes on between a couple, should just be for that couple only.
Some Major Life Decisions-
Some major life designs need to be kept just between the couple until the time Is right to either let the kids know, or any other important person in their life. For instance, if you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. Don't be spreading it all over town with dozens of friends, chance are your kids will hear about it first from someone else instead of you. This can be quite devastating if the kids really had no idea what was going on. Contrary to popular belief, not all couples who get divorced are constantly screaming at each other or making it evident in some way that they will most likely not be staying married. Some couples just come to a very quiet decision that the marriage is no longer right for them and decide to get a divorce. In these types of homes, children may not have a clue anything is wrong. Make sure, anything major you decide on such as divorce, moving, changes of jobs that will change your lifestyle, elderly parents moving in with the family, or any other major decisions is kept between you and your spouse, so when the time comes, you will be telling the kids about it, and not someone else.
There you have it, five secrets that should be kept between you and your spouse. Some of these secrets should never be let out, and others it's just important to wait until the right time. In the end, you must be smart enough to know that which should be just between you and your spouse, either forever, or temporarily is just that, between the two of you and no one else!
Five Secrets Couples Should Keep to Themselves
Bedroom Secrets:
BED ROOM SECRESTS : For an:y marriage to be a successful one, the key lies in a healthy sexual relationship. It’s a fact that has been the mantra of many psychologists and marriage councilors that what happens in the bedroom between couples is what actually keeps them together for a long time. The bedroom has always been the foundation of a strong happy marriage. It’s here in the bedroom that most couples are free to be themselves and they know each of them has no secrets that the other is unaware of. Bedroom secrets are the key to a happy married life. Many happily married couples who have been together fro many many years reinforce this fact.
Couples need to have physical contact with each other as much as they can. A physical touch becomes a necessity psychologically as it gives spouses reassurance that they are always there for each other. In the bedroom behind closed doors, couples can relax and be in physical contact with each other in the most sensual way. Couples are expected to love and respect each other even if they find their marriage faltering. This love and respect they have for each other will go a long way in keeping them together in a marriage.
At some point of time with effective marriage counseling it is possible for them to reconcile with each other and remain happy in their married life. Couples who respect and love each other will also be forgiving no matter what mistake the other partner in the relationship commits. Loving couples make it a point to never go to bed with a frown or angry look on their face. Even if they had the bitterest of fights that day, they would kiss and make up at night in the bedroom before they retire to sleep.
A simple sorry or I love you that comes out from a person’s heart can mean a lot to his or her partner. All the anger against their spouse is sure to vanish into thin air and at times, they will even end up cuddling against each other. This surely helps strengthen the relationship further.
To keep spouse happy many wives have always done things like redecorating their bedroom by having new sheets on the beds or changing the curtains or even rearranging the furniture. They also go to great lengths to keep themselves physically fit and attractive for their spouses. Remaining sexy and attractive to your partner or spouse helps in keeping the marriage young and healthy. Many husbands are so enamored with their wives that they hardly take notice of other women. This is what makes a marriage remain steady and successful.
Many happily married couples have realised the fact that whenever they have had a satisfying night in bed, it was the perfect time to talk with each other freely. Many issues are often resolved when couples are free to talk with each other in the privacy of their bedroom. Here they bare all their feelings to each other and when this is done even the most threatening issues that have been playing havoc with their marriage can be resolved with ease.
All couples have their own bedroom secrets which many may not want to discuss or even divulge in public even to close friends and family. A husband or wife can recapture all those wonderful moments spent in each other’s company during the initial years of their marriage and try to bring back those magical moments into their present day life if they find something amiss in their married life. Bedroom secrets help keep a marriage secure forever!
Bedroom Secrets:
six secrets to sexy bed room
It's the one room that you both spend the most time together in. Make your boudoir a prime spot for sleeping, snuggling, and everything else with these six simple tips.
Be Dramatic:
Don't be afraid to add a little drama with a deep wall color like rich chocolate. You'll feel enveloped at night, which will ease you into your zzz's a lot faster. Keep the room from feeling too heavy by balancing it with a white headboard. You can pick up the wall color again with plush throw pillows.Cozy up the Walls and Floors
If you're craving a serene scene, try soft gray, taupe, or baby blue bedding. Add coordinating drapes around the windows -- a floor-to-ceiling style makes ceilings seem taller. Finally, buy a cozy rug for the floor -- think shag or sheepskin. That way, when you step out of bed, it will feel super-soft.Add Luxe Linens
Buy a set of soft sheets that make you want to climb into them at night. Most sheets top off at softness when you reach a 500 thread count, so don't bother paying extra for anything above that. Cover the bed with a fluffy down duvet, a heavy wool blanket, or a soft cotton quilt. Then, toss a gorgeous throw onto the foot of the bed.Soften the Lighting
To make your bedroom calm, a dimmer is a lighting must-have. Use it for everything from overhead ceiling lights to pendant and bedside table lamps. For an eclectic bedroom look, mix and match by going with different bases with matching shades.Snag Hotel-Suite Style
If you have room, add a chair to a corner of your bedroom, which will make your room seem larger. (And hey, you need someplace other than the floor to toss your outfit outtakes!) Or consider an upholstered bench at the foot of the bed. Be sure to buy a headboard to give your bedroom a hotel-chic look that a bed frame can't do on its own.Add Eye-Catching Accents
When you wake up, why not see beautiful things? It could be a painting on your wall or an antique quilt that's draped over a chair. Put your favorite items on display on bedroom shelves, along with art books, glassware, and anything with a burst of color -- like a bright gift box or jewelry tree.
BED ROOM SEX SECRETS......
One of the obsession that men have is their performance in bed. Despite this, women continue to complain that all men care about is their satisfaction and once that goal is accomplished they do not care about her needs. (Related article: How to last longer in bed?)
The reality is somewhere in between. At a panel discussion that I organized with a group of people, Yani put it very nicely. She says, "Tony is not perfect, nor is he Superman! He does get annoyed with me at times when I want it at the wrong time. And I do get irritated when he declines. I also get frustrated when our timing does not work out well. While he does not tire easily as he is in good physical shape, we don't always get it right. He is VERY considerate and patient with me. I have also learned to adapt to his rhythms, so to speak, but when he performs, we are in heaven. He is a good lover and a wonderful person. So, as I said, he is a man with imperfections but he does his best to please." (Related article: How to spice it up in the bedroom?)
Indeed, thanks to such a balanced perspective from some women, that it is possible for couples to have a great personal relationship. Because men have their imperfections too, women need to appreciate that. As long as women understand that men are not really Supermen, they can have a great time and never get frustrated. Plus, frustrating as it is, men have physical limitations too. After a couple of times, both the body and the mind just don't want any more, but the desire does come back in a reasonable period of time. So ladies, keep an open mind and collaborate with the man and you will have all the fun that you can handle." (Related article: How to make sure that a woman can climax)
Perla agrees. "I know my husband's limitations and his occasional indifferences to my needs in bed. We are sensual, you men are visual. Like Yani, I am still learning still his rhythms and sometime I do take advantage of him which I admit can be quite demanding. I love him for many good reasons and that is why his performance in bed is one part of the overall relationship. And yes, he needs time to "re-charge" as all men do and rather than getting frustrated, I have learned to treat that break as a special moment for us. So we always keep some wine and small nibbles handy in the bedroom." (Related article: Bedroom for couples)
Monday, April 2, 2012
THE NINE SEX SECRETS OF YOUNG COUPLES.....
Loving couples: In a world where 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, you can't help but notice them. There they are, finishing each other's sentences or laughing in some dusky corner of a Chinese restaurant. They seem so wonderfully in sync, and they make the work of being a couple seem effortless. Of course, no intimate relationship ever is, especially once you factor in life's built-in pressures, like work deadlines, laundry and your daughter's orthodontist appointments.
But, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., Redbook Online's resident sex-and-relationships expert, there are certain core values that make some marriages more intimate and resilient than others. You could probably predict the list: trust, mutual respect, commitment and a strong sense of "we" in the relationship. What is surprising, experts point out, is that when you ask loving husbands and wives about the key to their devotion, over and over you'll hear the same things, specific habits that mirror these values. Learning these secrets can make your marriage closer too.
Related: 50 Fun, Cheap Date Ideas
1. They use terms of endearment
Sure, you may find it cloyingly sweet when you overhear other couples talking like 2-year-olds, but endearments are actually a sign of a healthy rapport.
"Pet names take you back either to the happy childhood you had or the one you wish you had," says Manhattan-based family therapist Carolyn Perla, Ph.D. "They signal a safe, supportive environment." Also, these days, when we're stretched to the limit trying to juggle jobs and kids, "pet names give us the chance to let down our guard, to be vulnerable and childlike. And they make us feel close to one another."
These same feelings of intimacy can also come from using a special tone of voice with each other, sharing silly "inside jokes," or pet-naming your spouse's intimate body parts. The point is to connect with some private message system that's meaningful to you alone, as a couple -- not to the outside world. "This type of playfulness is a statement that you're feeling comfortable with each other and with the relationship," says Dr. Perla.
Related: 25 Snacks Under 150 Calories
2. They do stuff together
When that pheromone-crazy feeling of falling in love passes and happy couples no longer spend all day in bed, they look outward. They start businesses, refinish the attic or take up cooking together.
Of all the variables in a relationship -- from commitment to communication -- the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in determining their overall marital happiness, according to a landmark study by Howard Markman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Time spent playing together, says Dr. Markman, is an "investment in the relationship"; it provides a relaxed intimacy that strengthens the bond between two people. So even if your life is impossibly frantic, make the time for play. And do all you can to eliminate distractions. Leave the kids with a sitter, ditch the beeper and cell phone. The activity doesn't have to be anything elaborate or costly. Exercising together, browsing in antiques stores, or renting a classic movie can help bring the two of you closer.
3. When the going gets tough, they don't call Mom or Dad
The first task facing all young couples is separating from their families of origin, points out San Francisco-area-based family researcher Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. This doesn't mean you shouldn't go home for the holidays. But if there's a crisis over whether to have a second child or relocate for a new job, or even if there's good news about a big raise or the results of a medical test, the couple should talk about it together first before dialing Mom. "You wouldn't believe how many people who are getting divorced say to me, 'She was never mine,' or 'His mother always came first,'" Dr. Wallerstein observes.
Related: 23 Power Foods to Eat More, More, More Of
4. They stay connected to their parents
This doesn't contradict No. 3: You can talk with your mom every day and still be clear about where your attachment to her ends and your love for your mate begins.
"Staying connected to parents, siblings, cousins and the like can be excellent for a marriage because it gives a sense of family continuity," says Dr. Greer. "It generates positive feelings, especially when you incorporate your spouse into that family. You're sharing that part of you with each other."
5. They don't nickel-and-dime about chores
It's no secret that most wives continue to do more in the housekeeping and child-rearing departments than their husbands. Still, when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every dish washed and every diaper changed, they may be headed for trouble.
"Most couples think they should strive for a relationship that's 50-50," observes Dr. Perla, "but the fact is, they should each give 150 percent. In good relationships, couples give everything they can. They don't nickel-and-dime each other, and they respect that each person gives different things."
Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers
6. They fight constructively
There's fighting and then there's fighting. When couples start yelling and throwing things, when they dredge up every single complaint they've ever had (or "kitchen-sinking," as marital experts typically call it), you can be sure that they won't be celebrating their silver anniversary together. "Studies show that the way couples handle conflict is the most important factor in determining whether or not they stay together," observes Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont.
"Happy couples have learned the art of constructive arguing," says Dr. Markman, whose research has demonstrated that it's possible to predict whether or not a couple will divorce after watching them argue for 10 or 15 minutes. In strong marriages, he says, the partners take control of their disagreements by establishing ground rules. They may, for example, call a mutually agreed-upon time-out if the conflict is escalating and unproductive, agreeing to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. They also truly listen to each other and won't prematurely try to solve the problem before they've heard each other out. Above all, no matter how angry they get, they don't resort to name-calling and insults -- key danger signs, says Dr. Markman.
7. They give each other gifts
Couples who are deeply connected often give each other presents or write little notes, says Thomas Moore, Ph.D., best-selling author of Care of the Soul. What they're doing is preserving the rituals, and the magic, of their courtship.
The gift should carry no strings. Sarah sometimes comes home from work to find that her husband has prepared a candlelight dinner. "But it's not set up to be a prelude to sex," Sarah says laughingly. "John does it because he wants me to feel loved."
Related: Easy Ways to Burn 100 Calories
8. They never lose their sense of humor
Humor, as many psychotherapists have observed, is the Krazy Glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple can no longer laugh together, Dr. Moore says, it's a signal that the soul has gone out of their marriage and they are headed for trouble.
But Dr. Moore is quick to point out that lighthearted couples never mock each other. They instinctively know what is -- and isn't -- fair game. "Sam would never dream of making fun of my big butt," notes Catherine.
9. They take "for better or for worse" seriously
Contented couples encounter their share of life's miseries -- whether it's the car breaking down, a nasty cold or a missed promotion -- but they help each other get through. You don't, for example, hear them say, "How could you let that happen?" when a spouse loses a job. "Couples who do well together tend not to do anything that increases their partner's suffering, like become resentful or criticize," notes Dr. Young-Eisendrath. In good marriages, people feel safe from the outside world. Each spouse, stresses Dr. Greer, has the feeling, "I can count on you, our world is all right."
THE NINE SEX SECRETS OF YOUNG COUPLES
But, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., Redbook Online's resident sex-and-relationships expert, there are certain core values that make some marriages more intimate and resilient than others. You could probably predict the list: trust, mutual respect, commitment and a strong sense of "we" in the relationship. What is surprising, experts point out, is that when you ask loving husbands and wives about the key to their devotion, over and over you'll hear the same things, specific habits that mirror these values. Learning these secrets can make your marriage closer too.
Related: 50 Fun, Cheap Date Ideas
1. They use terms of endearment
Sure, you may find it cloyingly sweet when you overhear other couples talking like 2-year-olds, but endearments are actually a sign of a healthy rapport.
"Pet names take you back either to the happy childhood you had or the one you wish you had," says Manhattan-based family therapist Carolyn Perla, Ph.D. "They signal a safe, supportive environment." Also, these days, when we're stretched to the limit trying to juggle jobs and kids, "pet names give us the chance to let down our guard, to be vulnerable and childlike. And they make us feel close to one another."
These same feelings of intimacy can also come from using a special tone of voice with each other, sharing silly "inside jokes," or pet-naming your spouse's intimate body parts. The point is to connect with some private message system that's meaningful to you alone, as a couple -- not to the outside world. "This type of playfulness is a statement that you're feeling comfortable with each other and with the relationship," says Dr. Perla.
Related: 25 Snacks Under 150 Calories
2. They do stuff together
When that pheromone-crazy feeling of falling in love passes and happy couples no longer spend all day in bed, they look outward. They start businesses, refinish the attic or take up cooking together.
Of all the variables in a relationship -- from commitment to communication -- the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in determining their overall marital happiness, according to a landmark study by Howard Markman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Time spent playing together, says Dr. Markman, is an "investment in the relationship"; it provides a relaxed intimacy that strengthens the bond between two people. So even if your life is impossibly frantic, make the time for play. And do all you can to eliminate distractions. Leave the kids with a sitter, ditch the beeper and cell phone. The activity doesn't have to be anything elaborate or costly. Exercising together, browsing in antiques stores, or renting a classic movie can help bring the two of you closer.
3. When the going gets tough, they don't call Mom or Dad
The first task facing all young couples is separating from their families of origin, points out San Francisco-area-based family researcher Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. This doesn't mean you shouldn't go home for the holidays. But if there's a crisis over whether to have a second child or relocate for a new job, or even if there's good news about a big raise or the results of a medical test, the couple should talk about it together first before dialing Mom. "You wouldn't believe how many people who are getting divorced say to me, 'She was never mine,' or 'His mother always came first,'" Dr. Wallerstein observes.
Related: 23 Power Foods to Eat More, More, More Of
4. They stay connected to their parents
This doesn't contradict No. 3: You can talk with your mom every day and still be clear about where your attachment to her ends and your love for your mate begins.
"Staying connected to parents, siblings, cousins and the like can be excellent for a marriage because it gives a sense of family continuity," says Dr. Greer. "It generates positive feelings, especially when you incorporate your spouse into that family. You're sharing that part of you with each other."
5. They don't nickel-and-dime about chores
It's no secret that most wives continue to do more in the housekeeping and child-rearing departments than their husbands. Still, when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every dish washed and every diaper changed, they may be headed for trouble.
"Most couples think they should strive for a relationship that's 50-50," observes Dr. Perla, "but the fact is, they should each give 150 percent. In good relationships, couples give everything they can. They don't nickel-and-dime each other, and they respect that each person gives different things."
Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers
6. They fight constructively
There's fighting and then there's fighting. When couples start yelling and throwing things, when they dredge up every single complaint they've ever had (or "kitchen-sinking," as marital experts typically call it), you can be sure that they won't be celebrating their silver anniversary together. "Studies show that the way couples handle conflict is the most important factor in determining whether or not they stay together," observes Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont.
"Happy couples have learned the art of constructive arguing," says Dr. Markman, whose research has demonstrated that it's possible to predict whether or not a couple will divorce after watching them argue for 10 or 15 minutes. In strong marriages, he says, the partners take control of their disagreements by establishing ground rules. They may, for example, call a mutually agreed-upon time-out if the conflict is escalating and unproductive, agreeing to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. They also truly listen to each other and won't prematurely try to solve the problem before they've heard each other out. Above all, no matter how angry they get, they don't resort to name-calling and insults -- key danger signs, says Dr. Markman.
7. They give each other gifts
Couples who are deeply connected often give each other presents or write little notes, says Thomas Moore, Ph.D., best-selling author of Care of the Soul. What they're doing is preserving the rituals, and the magic, of their courtship.
The gift should carry no strings. Sarah sometimes comes home from work to find that her husband has prepared a candlelight dinner. "But it's not set up to be a prelude to sex," Sarah says laughingly. "John does it because he wants me to feel loved."
Related: Easy Ways to Burn 100 Calories
8. They never lose their sense of humor
Humor, as many psychotherapists have observed, is the Krazy Glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple can no longer laugh together, Dr. Moore says, it's a signal that the soul has gone out of their marriage and they are headed for trouble.
But Dr. Moore is quick to point out that lighthearted couples never mock each other. They instinctively know what is -- and isn't -- fair game. "Sam would never dream of making fun of my big butt," notes Catherine.
9. They take "for better or for worse" seriously
Contented couples encounter their share of life's miseries -- whether it's the car breaking down, a nasty cold or a missed promotion -- but they help each other get through. You don't, for example, hear them say, "How could you let that happen?" when a spouse loses a job. "Couples who do well together tend not to do anything that increases their partner's suffering, like become resentful or criticize," notes Dr. Young-Eisendrath. In good marriages, people feel safe from the outside world. Each spouse, stresses Dr. Greer, has the feeling, "I can count on you, our world is all right."
THE NINE SEX SECRETS OF YOUNG COUPLES
THE NINE SEX SECRETS OF YOUNG COUPLE....
Loving couples: In a world where 40 percent of marriages end in divorce, you can't help but notice them. There they are, finishing each other's sentences or laughing in some dusky corner of a Chinese restaurant. They seem so wonderfully in sync, and they make the work of being a couple seem effortless. Of course, no intimate relationship ever is, especially once you factor in life's built-in pressures, like work deadlines, laundry and your daughter's orthodontist appointments.
But, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., Redbook Online's resident sex-and-relationships expert, there are certain core values that make some marriages more intimate and resilient than others. You could probably predict the list: trust, mutual respect, commitment and a strong sense of "we" in the relationship. What is surprising, experts point out, is that when you ask loving husbands and wives about the key to their devotion, over and over you'll hear the same things, specific habits that mirror these values. Learning these secrets can make your marriage closer too.
Related: 50 Fun, Cheap Date Ideas
1. They use terms of endearment
Sure, you may find it cloyingly sweet when you overhear other couples talking like 2-year-olds, but endearments are actually a sign of a healthy rapport.
"Pet names take you back either to the happy childhood you had or the one you wish you had," says Manhattan-based family therapist Carolyn Perla, Ph.D. "They signal a safe, supportive environment." Also, these days, when we're stretched to the limit trying to juggle jobs and kids, "pet names give us the chance to let down our guard, to be vulnerable and childlike. And they make us feel close to one another."
These same feelings of intimacy can also come from using a special tone of voice with each other, sharing silly "inside jokes," or pet-naming your spouse's intimate body parts. The point is to connect with some private message system that's meaningful to you alone, as a couple -- not to the outside world. "This type of playfulness is a statement that you're feeling comfortable with each other and with the relationship," says Dr. Perla.
Related: 25 Snacks Under 150 Calories
2. They do stuff together
When that pheromone-crazy feeling of falling in love passes and happy couples no longer spend all day in bed, they look outward. They start businesses, refinish the attic or take up cooking together.
Of all the variables in a relationship -- from commitment to communication -- the amount of fun couples have together is the strongest factor in determining their overall marital happiness, according to a landmark study by Howard Markman, Ph.D., codirector of the Center for Marital and Family Studies at the University of Denver. Time spent playing together, says Dr. Markman, is an "investment in the relationship"; it provides a relaxed intimacy that strengthens the bond between two people. So even if your life is impossibly frantic, make the time for play. And do all you can to eliminate distractions. Leave the kids with a sitter, ditch the beeper and cell phone. The activity doesn't have to be anything elaborate or costly. Exercising together, browsing in antiques stores, or renting a classic movie can help bring the two of you closer.
3. When the going gets tough, they don't call Mom or Dad
The first task facing all young couples is separating from their families of origin, points out San Francisco-area-based family researcher Judith Wallerstein, Ph.D. This doesn't mean you shouldn't go home for the holidays. But if there's a crisis over whether to have a second child or relocate for a new job, or even if there's good news about a big raise or the results of a medical test, the couple should talk about it together first before dialing Mom. "You wouldn't believe how many people who are getting divorced say to me, 'She was never mine,' or 'His mother always came first,'" Dr. Wallerstein observes.
Related: 23 Power Foods to Eat More, More, More Of
4. They stay connected to their parents
This doesn't contradict No. 3: You can talk with your mom every day and still be clear about where your attachment to her ends and your love for your mate begins.
"Staying connected to parents, siblings, cousins and the like can be excellent for a marriage because it gives a sense of family continuity," says Dr. Greer. "It generates positive feelings, especially when you incorporate your spouse into that family. You're sharing that part of you with each other."
5. They don't nickel-and-dime about chores
It's no secret that most wives continue to do more in the housekeeping and child-rearing departments than their husbands. Still, when partners become double-entry bookkeepers, adding up every dish washed and every diaper changed, they may be headed for trouble.
"Most couples think they should strive for a relationship that's 50-50," observes Dr. Perla, "but the fact is, they should each give 150 percent. In good relationships, couples give everything they can. They don't nickel-and-dime each other, and they respect that each person gives different things."
Related: 17 5-Minute Marriage Makeovers
6. They fight constructively
There's fighting and then there's fighting. When couples start yelling and throwing things, when they dredge up every single complaint they've ever had (or "kitchen-sinking," as marital experts typically call it), you can be sure that they won't be celebrating their silver anniversary together. "Studies show that the way couples handle conflict is the most important factor in determining whether or not they stay together," observes Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Vermont.
"Happy couples have learned the art of constructive arguing," says Dr. Markman, whose research has demonstrated that it's possible to predict whether or not a couple will divorce after watching them argue for 10 or 15 minutes. In strong marriages, he says, the partners take control of their disagreements by establishing ground rules. They may, for example, call a mutually agreed-upon time-out if the conflict is escalating and unproductive, agreeing to continue the discussion after a cooling-off period. They also truly listen to each other and won't prematurely try to solve the problem before they've heard each other out. Above all, no matter how angry they get, they don't resort to name-calling and insults -- key danger signs, says Dr. Markman.
7. They give each other gifts
Couples who are deeply connected often give each other presents or write little notes, says Thomas Moore, Ph.D., best-selling author of Care of the Soul. What they're doing is preserving the rituals, and the magic, of their courtship.
The gift should carry no strings. Sarah sometimes comes home from work to find that her husband has prepared a candlelight dinner. "But it's not set up to be a prelude to sex," Sarah says laughingly. "John does it because he wants me to feel loved."
Related: Easy Ways to Burn 100 Calories
8. They never lose their sense of humor
Humor, as many psychotherapists have observed, is the Krazy Glue that keeps a couple together. When a couple can no longer laugh together, Dr. Moore says, it's a signal that the soul has gone out of their marriage and they are headed for trouble.
But Dr. Moore is quick to point out that lighthearted couples never mock each other. They instinctively know what is -- and isn't -- fair game. "Sam would never dream of making fun of my big butt," notes Catherine.
9. They take "for better or for worse" seriously
Contented couples encounter their share of life's miseries -- whether it's the car breaking down, a nasty cold or a missed promotion -- but they help each other get through. You don't, for example, hear them say, "How could you let that happen?" when a spouse loses a job. "Couples who do well together tend not to do anything that increases their partner's suffering, like become resentful or criticize," notes Dr. Young-Eisendrath. In good marriages, people feel safe from the outside world. Each spouse, stresses Dr. Greer, has the feeling, "I can count on you, our world is all right."
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